RATING *

Cast: Hrithik Roshan, Barbara Mori, Kangana Ranaut.

Director: Anurag Basu

Producer: Rakesh Roshan

Kites- Well, before I begin, I remember there used to be a time when movie titles used to have some relation to the movie. Now-a-days, you shouldn’t be surprised if a family drama is called The Burning Train.

Now, Kites, (Oh god, why this name Anurag Basu, WHY?) is a movie (at least that’s what Rakesh Roshan thinks) made by papa Roshan to put beta Roshan’s career back on track. But as they say, too much of anything is bad.

Yes, Anurag Basu over did it- COMPLETELY & ENTIRELY.

The plot revolves around the life of a Vegas con-man Jai Rai (Hrithik Roshan). Jai is a free spirit, hoping to strike gold in The Sin City. He teaches dance at $ 100 a week at a local institute where one of his smitten student is Gina Grover (Kangana Ranaut, yeah, Mr. Basu’s *favourite* actress), daughter of all-powerful casino Plaza owner, Bob Grover (Kabir Bedi, seriously dude, it’s all over now, QUIT ALREADY!!!). On the side, Jai marries women wanting to get a green card for US.

Jai flirts with Gina to get Bob’s money, during which, he meets Natasha aka Linda (Barbara Mori- HAWT) who happens to be one of Jai’s many wives, now engaged to Gina’s brother Tony (name? Who cares dude?)

They get attracted toward each other, run-away, outlaws, car chases, bank robbery, guns and bullets, Nevada to Texas to Mexico, marriage, seperation, deception, betrayal, blah blah blah blah.

Yeah, that’s it, that was KITES, now one thing, what does this movie has to do with Indian audience? NOTHING. More than half of movie is in MEXICAN and rest in English, like, I don’t care, but hello, when you add all the typical bollywood masala, in fact add more than what’s needed for 10 Govinda movies, I want my movie to be INDIAN!!

Though there are some bright moments- Hrithik Roshan’s dance in the track Fire and the soothing music but those all combined are not more than 10 minutes, rest 2 hours- it’s a complete crap movie.

Anurag Basu was lost- he tried to make a hollywood movie with a complete masala bollywood script. What he forgot was that getting a gori Heroine doesn’t guarantee success of a movie overseas, it’s the script, the story that counts, which is sadly, the worst part of the movie.

Dear Hrithik, I want my money back- Ticket 260 + Cola 40 + Pop-Corn 30 + Samosa 20 + Taxi 40 = 390 Rs. And I am serious.